Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Funny Baby Jokes

funnybabyQ. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.



Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?

A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.



Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.



Q. I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?

A. Authorized personnel only -- doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning

crews, journalists, etc.



Q. Does labor cause hemorrhoids?

A. Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.



Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?

A. In your breasts.



Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?

A. Yes, baby lips.



Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?

A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.



Q. How does one sanitize nipples?

A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.



Q. What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?

A. They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.



Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.



Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

1 comment:

  1. In ancient life day to day depression and tension are increasing in too speedily in my life and other people so I am search and visit : FUNNY JOKES, HINDI SMS, HINDI JOKES, LOVE QUOTES related sms web for reading and remove tension, Friend SMS reading best tips to refresh the mood immediately and feel happy so I want to say thanks to web owner for publishing your best funny and impressive sms.

    ReplyDelete