Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Dumb Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sybil!
Sybil who?
Sybil Simon met a pieman...!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tad!
Tad who?
Tad's all folks!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Taipei!
Taipei who?
Taipei sixty words a minute is pretty fast!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tamara!
Tamara who?
Tamara the world!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tank!
Tank who?
Your welcome!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tyrone!
Tyrone who?
Tyrone shoelaces!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tyson!
Tyson who?
Tyson of this on for size!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Uganda!
Uganda who?
Uganda get away with this!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Uriah!
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Uruguay!
Uruguay who?
You go Uruguay and I'll go mine!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avocado!
Avocado who?
Avocado a cold!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Axel!
Axel who?
Axeldental Tourist!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atch!
Atch who?
I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Athena!
Athena who?
Athena flying saucer!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Argo!
Argo who?
Argo down the shops!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Anna!
Anna who?
Anna one, anna two...!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Anna!
Anna who?
Anna going to tell you!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Anne Boleyn!
Anne Boleyn who?
Anne Boleyn alley!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Amin!
Amin who?
Amin thing to do!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ammonia!
Ammonia who?
Ammonia little kid!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Audrey!
Audrey who?
Audrey be doing this!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Augusta!
Augusta who?
Augusta go home now!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aunt Lou!
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Lou do you think you are!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ashley!
Ashley who?
Ashley-t's foot!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Asia!
Asia who?
Asia you going to let me in then!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Anthony Weiner Jokes

"Congressman Weiner is in a lot of trouble since he tweeted those pictures. But good news for him, he just found out he'll be allowed to keep his porn name ... Anthony Weiner." —Conan O'Brien

"Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you're going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice." —Jimmy Kimmel

"51 percent of New York voters think Congressman Weiner should keep his seat in office. The other 49 percent think that he should disinfect it." —Conan O'Brien

"What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?" —Jon Stewart

"I don't know if laws were broken or not, but Weiner was sending around pictures of him in his underpants and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big deal? Don't men and women in Congress get to mail their packages for free?!" —David Letterman

"This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he's in, knock on the door...Now they send it right to your house." —Jay Leno

"Democrats don't share our values. An elected official is tweeting dirty photos of himself to strange women who he never meets for sex? Come on! At least Republican Chris Lee was trying to get some action! Republican politicians are man enough to hit that thing. Ensign, Vitter, even when it's a gay scandal! They're not tweeting love letters. They're tearing up an airport bathroom until somebody calls the cops on them!" —Stephen Colbert