Funny Love Quotes

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.
-- Sandra J. Dykes

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
-- Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
-- Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.
-- Cher

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
-- Dorothy Parker

I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.
-- Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
-- Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise.
-- Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche