Funny Short Jokes

Q. What do you get when a Leper takes a bath?
A. Soup.

Q. Why did the ref call a penalty during the Leper Hockey game?
A. Because there was a face off in the corner.

Q. What's a Lepers favorite sport?
A. Football.

Q. What is Osama bin Laden's idea of safe sex?
A. Marking the camels that kick.

Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system?
A. A refund.

Q. Why did the tree fall down?
A. The koala forgot to let go.

Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A. Don't ask her out again.

Q. What do you call 100 men at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A. A computer only needs the information punched into it once.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-Eye Deer. (sound like No Idea)

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no eye deer.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no sexual organs?
A. Still no fucking eye deer.

Q. Why are women like condoms?
A. They spend 90% of their time in your wallet, and 10% on your dick.

Q. What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can't?
A. Cum in five different flavours.

Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
A. The Tooth Fairy

Q. Did you hear that Fed Ex and UPS are going to merge?
A. Yeah. They're going to call it FED UP!

Short Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opossum that it could be done.

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.

How does a pig go to the hospital?
In a hambulance.

What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Clean Short Jokes

There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.

A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

Funny Short Jokes

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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What is da true meaning of 'Study' ???
.-
S. Sleeping
T. Talking
U. Unlimited tafreh
D. Dreaming
Y. Yawning

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When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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MISSED CALL Means -
"M"Ost
"I"Nnovative
"S"Tylish
"S"Till
"E"Ffecti Ve
"D"Evice

"C"Onveying
"A"Pnapan
"L"Ove and
"L"Oneliness
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F..R..I..E..N..D

*Field of love*
*Root of joy*
*Island of God*
*End of sorrows*
*Name of hope*
*Door of understanding* (=

Short Blonde Jokes,Like Their Attention Span!

Did you hear about the blonde who plugged her power strip back into itself to save electricity?
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Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.
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When a blonde working at the local Taco Bell was asked to put minimal lettuce on an order she replied, "I'm sorry, we only have iceberg."
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What do you get when you put seven blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes

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A blonde was driving down the highway when she read a sign saying, "Clean Restrooms Next 10 Miles." She was really late for her appointment since there were 26 restrooms to clean.

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While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, "What in the world are blind people doing driving?"

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Did you hear about the blonde who called the county to have the Deer Crossing sign removed from her road? It seems that too many deer were being hit by cars.

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How do you know a blond has been in your office?

There is white-out on your computer screen.

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Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

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Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?

It takes too long to re-train them.


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What do you call an eternity?

Four blondes at a four way stop.

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What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

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Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.

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What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?

"Oh, look, Daddy ... doughnut seeds."

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How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?

Shine a flashlight in her ear