funny sarcastic one liners

* I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  * I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  * Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  * If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  * Does your train of thought have a caboose?
  * Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  * Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  * Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.