Saturday, September 10, 2011

Facebook Jokes One Liners

Q: Why is a survey, proving Facebook users have lower grades than non-users pointless?
A: Because Facebook users tell everyone how stupid they are with their status updates on a daily basis!

Q: In addition to the social networking site Facebook where else can you find Mafia members?
A: "Controlling all the trash hauling in Second Life"

Q: What happened after three Duke football players were kicked off the team for gun possession? A: Gilbert Arenas sent them Facebook friend requests!

Q: Why should you create a Facebook Account with the name "Nobody"?
A: Because when somebody posts something stupid you can say "Nobody Likes This!"

Q: What happened when Dick Cheney tried to reach a younger demographic?
A: He shot Facebook in the face, while hunting for Twitter. Come to Myspace and Twitter my Yahoo Til' I Google all over your Facebook.

Q: When FaceBook, MySpace and Twitter merge into one super social networking company what will it be called?
A: They will call it "My Twit Face."


Q: Why is Facebook like Jail?
A: You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!

Q: Why is Facebook a great site for loners?
A: Because it's the only place where they can talk to a wall and not be considered an loser!

Q: Why is Facebook like a refrigerator?
A: Because every few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there's anything good in it!

Q: How ugly was my ex-girlfriend/boyfriend?
A: So ugly that Facebook banned her/his profile pic and sent her back to Myspace!

Q: What happened after hackers shut down Twitter for a day?
A: Twitterers were relegated to communicating the old fashioned way, through Facebook!

Q: If Facebook is a loft in the city and Twitter is a house in the suburbs, what is Myspace?
A: A trailer park!

Q: What did the twitterer say before committing suicide?
A: My Facebook can remarry!

Q: Why did Atlanta Falcons lineman Quinn Ojinnaka post bail after getting into an altercation with his wife over facebook activity?
A: Because he was afraid of going to jail and really being poked!

Q: Why shouldn't you pay for a Classmates.com membership?
A: Because Myspace and Facebook are free!

Q: How do you know if your Fortune 500 CEO is a pedophile?
A: He has a facebook account!

Q: What happened after Miss New Jersey, Amy Polumbo, lost her crown due to racy pics being leaked from her Facebook Account?
A: Amy Polumbo received a million friend requests!

Q: How did the gringo get the hispanic day laborer pregnant?
A: By sending her a friend request on Facebook!

Q: Why did John Connor lead the resistance against the machines?
A: Skynet refused to give John a Facebook friend request!

Q: What happened after the "Spam King" was charged with hacking in 500,000 facebook accounts and sending 27 millon unwanted messages?
A: He was convicted and sentenced 4 years of hard labor on Farmville!

Q: Why is Germany threatening Facebook with legal action over its facial recognition software? A: They say it fails to identify which faces are Jewish!

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