Funny Bumper Stickers

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
"No, mister Budweiser, I haven't had any officers tonight."
"Sir, I seem to be stuck." (Data) "Well, get unstuck." (Picard)
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
(001) Logic Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza.
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience does not prevent sin, it only prevents you from enjoying it.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
A day without sunshine is like ... night.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. And state lotteries are a tax on the mathmatically challenged.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
A pessimist is never disappointed.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
A woman's favorite position is CEO.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Adult child of alien invaders.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
Air pollution is a mist-demeanor.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All life's answers are on TV - Bart Simpson
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS - I married with their King.
All work and no play will make you a manager.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Alone: In bad company.
Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
Always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.